Hash #351 - Just Looking for Love

Well, well…these little tales to be told are generally short and sweet; however, you had better sit back and just enjoy as this one unfolds, as the “tails” of this story leads well into the On-After.

A Lil Pinkie Will Do, CSI, and NFHN Shaun took on the pack that showed, which was about 30 or so local Survivor hashers, visiting hashers, virgins, and who the hell knows who else.  It was definitely a fabulous turnout with amazing weather, considering that cold, white ass shit that had been on the ground days earlier.  Not many knew this, but they will now…..us three hares went for lunch earlier in the day to Moe’s Southwest Grill.  I say this now and it will make sense why I am later.

Circle was started by a virgin RA, Spew From The Pew, who conducted himself with great command…even though his accent was enhanced with the excitement of it all.  The hares were introduced, blessed, and saturated in nectar before taking off on trail.  The kennel warmed up with the assistance of Lubricunt being puppeteered by Red Hot Pecker Pocket.  Shortly into the trail, a three dimensional Boob Check was discovered, courtesy of firmly made concrete tits.  The trail took on many directions, with the vast amount of intersections, YBF’s, clothing exchanges, song checks, and HOBLOWS along the way.  Surprisingly enough, the ghetto of the downtown Pensacola area was very welcoming to the hashers, as well as the pit bulls and other mixed mutts along trail.  I swear Purple Vein almost consummated with a pit along the way, if it wasn’t for the chain link fence separating them.  The trail weaved on several streets, under the interstate, across and down railroad tracks, over a bridge, and eventually back to the start for the ON-IN.  The FRB was Hasta Buy It and the FBI was NFHN Jen.  A small handful of hashers were able to locate the entire trail markings and come in the right direction, and most seemed to have to zen their way back from a short distance out.  The DFL’s were Multiple Cum Shot Wounds and little Klepto Kitty.

As the trail was being laid, NFHN Shaun and Pinkie would often exclaim how the Moe’s food from lunch was either going to come back up and make a re-appearance or something a little more unpleasant was going to happen on trail.  As it turned out, all was fine other than Pinkie needing ice for her gimp knee and NFHN Shaun finally being able to relieve himself of the lunch via excrement at the bottom of the staircase beside the building…. but it’s ok, he used recycled toilet paper from trail, covered in sidewalk chalk dust.

Red Hot Pecker Pocket led the circle after trail and kudos were given to Swab D Bone who now has 222 trails under his belt with Survivor.  After the usual festivities of backsliders, virgins, visiting hashers, analversaries, accusations, and any other excuse for hashers to do a down-down, NFHN Kim and Meagan were called into circle for their naming.  Questions were asked and very inappropriate, yet glorious answers were given.  Klepto Kitty led them away while named hashers threw out stories and potential names for them both.  Although there were many great names that could have been used for both of them, NFHN Kim is now and will forever be Insextuous and NFHN Meagan will be Sprays Anatomy.  A great time was had by all and only the best was yet to cum, as we were all on our way to The Roundup for the On-After, where it really became interesting…. at least for a few.

Eventually, after a little bit of miscommunication, most of the hashers ate and were well on their way to that moment of time where that sweet nectar takes us.  Quarter Pound Her brought a visitor with her who has hashed with GCH3 a few times, NFHN Thomas.  Now, NFHN Thomas is a rugby player, so we all heard, and as such, wears a kilt in true hasher form.  In this case, he may not have been aware that The Roundup is a very country, gay bar.  Now mind you, it is a fabulous spot for us, as The Roundup is and has always been a very loyal sponsor of Survivor, so we had no fears…notice I said “we” had no fears.  One of the patrons of the bar, from here forward will be referred to as Grizzly, was on the prowl.  Grizzly sat beside Twisted Shitster, who was an initial barrier between him and NFHN Thomas.  Of course Grizzly immediately told Shitster that she looked almost twice that of her actual age, but he was more than likely just trying to let her down easy, as his sights were on the meat beside her.

All of the hashers were in an area together for the most part and had the nectar flowing, keeping us all in rhythm with the music playing.  A few of the hashers had some nice dance moves, or maybe that was some sort of exercise move between Lubricunt and Twisted Shitster.  Needless to say, most of us were a little distracted until Grizzly eased his way between NFHN Thomas and someone else, stopped to glare at NFHN Thomas, and by glare I mean undress and rape with his eyes, and then rubbed is chest ever so slightly with a chuckle under his breath.  From that point on, Grizzly became even more aggressive, handsy, and “ballsy” with NFHN Thomas.  There was even a time when Grizzly put the “moves” on Peter Feelyah, who with his small stature was able to escape the confines of Grizzly’s claws.  Peter Feelyah, aka from that moment on as Spark Plug, was reminded of his heterosexuality courtesy of the harriettes, and was eventually able to retract his thumb from his mouth and speak again.

Grizzly, in no time at all, was like a T-Rex circling NFHN Thomas, but without short arms, because most of us saw the way he gained access below the kilt.  It did get to the point where we had to have Grizzly removed from the bar, but that was also about the time we were all ready to leave and head elsewhere.  As we at least made it to the parking lot and NFHN Thomas stood at the trunk of a car to change, he exclaimed that Grizzly “was only looking for love.” Now granted this was said as NFHN Thomas stood at the trunk with no kilt this time, bare ass to the wind, bent over looking for shorts in the trunk.  It just so happened several patrons were coming and going from the parking lot as well.  I can’t help but think this might play a little into his naming from GCH3 when the time cums!!!

The rest of the night was honestly somewhat uneventful, other than Quarter Pound Her becoming the “white girl wasted” of the group, but it’s ok, because she’s a lady!!


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