Ho Ho, oh what the hell, Happy Hashmas!!! And a happy time it was, for some at least. The theme this year was a choice of either Lumberjack or Onesies, and I do believe everyone was in some sort of costume to fit the theme, with the exception of Sushi for Poochie, as his attire seemed too appropriate for his nature to be anything other than a costume. As everyone started to show up, the food and alcohol started to pour in, along with a small downpour of wet weather. However, the rain did not stop our pyromaniacs from starting and keeping the bonfire going. We probably had about 30+ hashers in attendance, to include a few virgins as well. Spew from the Pew manned the dj booth and kept the entertainment going. Of course part of the entertainment started when Jewpacabra showed up and asked “Am I the only one that came naked under my onesie?” She’s so pretty!!
Circle was conducted by our not-so crippled anymore RA, Red Hot Pecker Pocket (let’s keep it that way). Trail was hared by A Lil Pinkie Will Do and me. The simplest of trails led the pack to the end of the driveway with a Checkback-69 to the beginning; however, when the few seasoned hashers who know Pinkie well decided to take off in another direction and cut through the woods and emerge from behind the barn, the rest of the pack followed. Apparently, not many know what it means you see a Checkback-69….oh well. Good food, desserts, jello shots, beer, and liquor were had by all; and there was a circle conducted in there somewhere. One of the bigger highlights of circle was Pinkie receiving her 100th hash bandana. I recall seeing her head….who said head….fully engulfed at one point inside of a onesie worn by Hung Like A vagina. That must have been a daring feat, but she did manage to locate her well-deserved bandana. Just prior to the conclusion of circle, our annual hash erections were conducted with the following members of Mismanagement for 2014:
Grand Master (GM) Cum Sucking Incident (CSI)
GM’s Ass Red Hot Pecker Pocket & A Lil Pinkie Will Do
RA Red Hot Pecker Pocket & Red White and Boobs
On-Sec A Lil Pinkie Will Do & Swab D Bone
Hash Cash A Lil Pinkie Will Do & Swab D Bone
Haberdasher Martha Screwhurt & Red River Cock Trigger
Beer Meister Hung Like A Vagina & Spew From The Pew
Webmeister Red Hot Pecker Pocket & Cum Sucking Incident
Hash Fluffers Slingblade, Multiple Cum Shot Wounds & Jewpacabra
Hash Flash Cum Sucking Incident & Red River Cock Trigger
After circle was closed, A Lil Pinkie Will Do was firmly escorted to a seat in front of a television, surrounded by everyone, as she was shown a very important video. A video made just for her as a “Fox,” Survivor style. The link to the video online can be found here.
And then the Dirty Santa began and ended about two hours later, so it seems. Great gifts were exchanged and not so great gifts were just left behind….like a pair of black silicone feet and a painting that I have seen for a couple of years so far. I do recall Cuff N Stuff having a fabulous time with the handsy help of House of the Rising Sun, until he finally crashed and relieved himself in more ways than one in Pinkie’s yard somewhere. Sushi for Poochie was “evac’ed” out at some late hour and was heard of the next day having been spotted at WOB….go figure!! Red Hot Pecker Pocket was laid to rest, not dead, just literally laid to rest after hugging the porcelain throne for a few minutes, but Pinkie does not seem to recall any of that hahahaha. Hungry for Hippos wound up giving Red White and Boobs a back massage on a pallet by the bonfire and about a half hour later she wakes up and asked how long was she out. C Harmony, who finally got his cowboy hat back from NFHN Kim (and if you weren’t there to see how, well you missed it), played some tunes on his guitar as the rest of us about crashed.
Finally, the remaining few crashed indoors courtesy of Pinkie and Teabag Touchdown, while Cuff and House played tent buddies and NFHN Josh slept in his tent alone with his feet hanging out in the cold. After the surround sound acoustics of Spew from the Pew and his dreadfully, delightful snoring, we all passed out for a few hours before all heading to East Hill’s Dirty Santa hash in downtown Pensacola.
What a great weekend and a fabulous way to end a hashing year, with none other than a magnificent Survivor hash family.